Depressed...

Fuck it, not another one,
Thought after yesterday I was done

Another night, not enough sleep
Now I’m tired again and these demons creep

Its not even 9, already yelling, fighting, crying,
Its no wonder I’m insane...

I can’t be bothered anymore
Wish I could drop them at their daddy’s door

Say here’s your kids, you have them,
So I have time to recover, get back to me again...

I’m tired, just need to rest
So I think it’d be best

If you could have them live with you
Because I’m losing it, don’t know what else to do

When I’m tired and feeling blue,
All I seem to think of is you

It drives me wild, it makes me mad,
I can’t smile, how did I get this bad?

I need a week, maybe two,
So I can shed these demons, get rid of you

In my darkest day, my tormented hours
I get so mad at you, these kids are OURS

Not supposed to be just me,
Alone raising OUR family

Why did this happen? Is this my destiny?
Why has this task become MY responsibility?

Its so fucking hard, I got no fucking choice,
I HAVE to have them, now hear my voice

All day every day they take and they take
There none left of me now, is this a mistake?

I need some time on my own,
So I can smile when they come home

I need to find a place, somewhere to escape,
A personal bit of space, so I can appreciate

The beauties that I have right before my eyes,
They are my lil angels, why am I starting to despise?

These treasures have been a gift, inspiring me to go on
They are also my biggest challenge, teaching me what is wrong

Society is fucked up, the world is going crazy,
I think I’m going mad, someone forgot to train me

I feel sick right now, just feel like crying again,
How’d this happen? Thought I wouldn’t be like this again

I feel so numb, empty like a zombie,
I want to escape, I want to be free

I keep exploding with rage,
Wish I could disappear into this page

How did I get so down?
When will I hit the ground?

What will it take? When will they care?
I feel like a fake, I’m going nowhere.

But I know in my heart all I need to be free,
Is time and space, some peace just for me

To be all on my own, away from my home,
To sit quietly, just be me, all alone

So I’m trying to be strong, I know this feels wrong,
I’m trying to stay true, but I don’t want to be blue,

My head won’t stop aching,
Feel like a mad man in the making...