Down & out... last week

I started last week, but didn't finish... ooppps...

Today is a down & out day. I'm trying to catch up/get ahead in my course. But picture books and stories aren't really doing it for me. I just got off the phone with an agent, and I feel so stuck. It's such a mission to get a place in Sydney, and I am starting to lose hope. I feel like I am going against everything... usually everything works out for me... this time its feeling like nothing is working out. Have I made the wrong decision? Or am I just tired again? Tired and emotional?

I know everything is going to be so different in Auz. Its not going to be easy. Its not going to be like here. Its going to be so far different, I may as well be in space... I know the kids will be ok. Will I? I know I'll be more satisfied with my family life, having a partner to support me & a father figure for the kids is a dream come true...

But is it me just chasing a dream? And will the reality reflect the dream? Or am I just asking for trouble?

Fear... funny. Its what I am supposed to be writing about.