Moving on?

Well I am trying so so hard to move on. It is so tough. I am trying to be strong and be happy for the kids but it can be so hard. I am so so tired and can't sleep with everything going on in my brain. I am trying to put on a happy face, and sometimes it is so so hard. It hurts so much because he has his new girlfriend and acts all happy. It is heartbreaking. He says that he is going to go to Auz with her. Jeez, thats what we did at the start when we were happy. I know in my heart that it shouldn't matter to me, that I should move on. I hate the fact that I even miss him at all. I hate the fact that I hold onto that time when he wasn't such a horrible shit. I shouldn't care at all about him. But I do. It's so horrible. It is extremely unfair. Why do I have to care at all about this person who has put me through hell? I wish I could just turn it off. I guess it is getting easier as the days go by. But I can't help it sometimes at night when I just miss his arms and I love yous... before everything went so horrible and sad. I am trying so hard, I just don't want to care about him. I have been told I should try and "move on" but I honestly don't think I could bring myself to be with someone else yet. Not to worry because I have my two fabulous kids, but it would be nice to have the love and support of someone who truely cares about my life and my kids and what I want to achieve... I am almost too scared to hope. Never mind, hopefully time will help me to move on...